Jump to content

Leaderboard


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/27/2014 in all areas

  1. 7 points
    Clover

    Mafia Game #3

    Welcome to day 2! Some stuff happened last night: A middle-aged man deliberately cracks his knuckles right before taking out his favorite ink pen. Like his father and grandfather before him, Valdoroth made his living peddling his wares town to town- returning to his hometown nary twice a year to see his wife and young daughter. Long hours, grueling travel and having to see so many faces you can barely recognize your own in the mirror- the life of a traveling merchant is not one of luxury. "Hello my dear, I hope to see you soon..." he began to write. It had been 9 months since he'd seen her face. He had written many letters. Letters of unwavering love and devotion. All of them lies. Valdoroth had no intention of returning home. Not ever. This time it was different. He'd heard about this town. How gullible and rash it's inhabitants could be. So he had one goal: become the richest man north of the equator. Take these fools for all their worth and bail at the first sight of trouble. The thought constantly rattled his brain. "What can I do next? Who can I rip off now? What are my margins on imported teriyaki bananas..." Unfortunately for Valdoroth, trouble found him first. Before the ink could dry on his letter, Valdoroth was launched 25 meters out of the window of his 2 story walk up. A hailing torrent of flaming debris illuminated the evening around his injured body. His spine had been shattered and the blood loss was uncontrollable. He would be dead in less than a minute. "...My..my wares! I'm ruined..!" he thought to himself. Nevermind the poor old couple that lived below him- now covered in smoldering embers. Nevermind the fact that he was just launched out of a window by an explosion. Nevermind he really would never see his family again. Nevermind the mass histeria that was happening around him. Nevermind his inevitable death. In his last moments, only greed crossed his mind. "The Mafia send their regards, merchant" a man dressed in all black said calmly. Valdoroth slowly drifted towards death as he watched the man walk away. As corrupt as he may be, Valdoroth was no Mafian. The bigger fish had taken its' prey. Valdoroth was innocent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 11:21pm: A crazed man stares at a photograph. "It is almost time" he sneered "I've been watching you... waiting." "My next kill must be you... someone special. I'm coming for you, Callum" Callum was the towns lead mechanic. He had been helping out the night shift this week. Lack of funding made it so even the boss had to come in on nights, but he had no problems with it. The work had to be done. The night went like any other. Mechanical problem after mechanical problem- but it was nothing his team couldn't handle. Thursday, 4:07am: Callum sent his team home. "Good work today guys I appreciate you coming in. Don't worry about lock-up" he said. "I'll take care of it. Go home to your families" Thursday, 4:33am: During clean and lock up, Callum heard a slight rap on the door leading into the garage. Curious, did someone forget their coat? Maybe it was the wind. Thursday, 4:49am: Another rap at the door. Callum decides to inspect the noise. Upon opening the door, he is greeted with a crowbar to the chin knocking him backwards. Barely coherent, Callum stumbled back to his feet and manages to make his way through the welcome desk toward the front door. "Get...BACK HERE!!!!!!" The terrifying war chant rang deeply in Callum's ears. He shook with desperation. As his body slammed against the plate glass entrance he felt his consciousness slipping away from him. Friday, 6:44am: Callum slowly opened his eyes to a blinding light above him. "Callum? Mr. Callum? Can you hear me?" A nurse said quietly in a relieved tone. "Ooh boy, you're awake!" "What... what happened? Where am I?" Callum mumbled. When Callum slammed against the entrance door, he managed to set off the building alarm. A physician on his way to work heard the alarm and called the police. The physician rode in the ambulance with Callum and managed to stop the bleeding. 48 stitches and one wired jaw later, Callum was doing ok. Callum had been saved.
  2. 6 points
    fuck olly Little cunt got what he had coming.
  3. 6 points
    Gandalf

    Mafia Game #2

    Valdoroth, a kindergarten teacher, has been asked by several students' parents, as well as his boss, has been asked to teach his students about the town's current events. "Mr. Valdoroth, what's a mafia?", one curious little girl asks. "That's an excellent question, Sarah. Has anyone else in the class heard about the mafia? Maybe you've heard your parents talking about it, or heard about it on the TV?", Valdoroth asks while half the class sheepishly raises their hand. "Well, basically, the mafia are a group of people who try to control other people. They usually force people to do things they don't want to do, and threaten to punish them if they don't do it. The mafia are very bad people, boys and girls, and when the cops find them they take them away forever." Filled with this new-found information, the children head to lunch to gossip about who they know who might be in the mafia. Most of the accusations are jokes, until one little boy gives a very convincing argument: "Guys, listen to me. I bet Mr. Valdoroth is in a mafia. Just listen, remember when he said that the mafia makes people do things they don't want to do? That's what he does to us! We hate doing homework and reading, but he makes us do it anyways! And when we -Mackenzie, shut your stupid face, I'm talking!- don't listen, he sends us to the principals office. He does the exact same thing as the mafias do!" The other children nodded in agreement with what their classmate was saying. For the remaining portion of lunch, the children devise a plan to subdue their teacher before he hurts anyone. Back in the classroom, the children spring into action. Two students sprint towards Mr. Valdoroth and begin tying his shoelaces together. Swatting the children away, Valdoroth starts to lose his balance. Two other children give Valdoroth a push, and he comes crashing down on a pair of scissors that were left out from arts and crafts time. Blood pours out of Valdoroth as the children all scream in terror. Valdoroth was in the mafia. One mafia member remains.
  4. 5 points
    Gandalf

    Me IRL

    After this and the cock and taters vid, I'd like to see what your suggested videos box looks like.
  5. 5 points
    Mikey

    Britain leaves the EU!

    This is shaping up to be one crazy as hell year.
  6. 5 points
    I chose option 3 The "It's Normally Bigger but it's Cold out Council"
  7. 5 points
    Ren

    Game of Thrones

    I found this at a 7/11. I didn't buy it because I dislike wheat beer, but I thought of you nerds.
  8. 5 points
    Mikey

    Happy birthday SK!

    5 years ago a couple of idiots formed a silly Alliance in a game that immediately went offline. Somehow it has managed to survive and actually become a successful community despite Tenages and I accidental deleting the forums every 2 months. Here's to five more years of having no idea what we're doing!
  9. 4 points
    I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equaling US$40,000,000. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region. You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accommodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount. However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria. If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria. Please call me at your earliest convenience at 18-467-4975. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it. Yours truly, Prince Alyusi Islassis
  10. 4 points
    My heartfelt message to Cody:
  11. 4 points
    Yes. Some of the Small Council, especially Brooklyn666, and even Valdoroth, the King himself noticed how imprudent I was in my actions. I became a Season 5 Cersei Lannister with this one. It's like inviting the Faith Militant in King's Landing. I forgot my oath as a member of Seven Kingdoms, and I ask for forgiveness. I put Seven Kingdoms into shame. Yes. Ring the shame bell for me. Me as Cersei Lannister That's why I decided to renew my oath. I, Aidan Vazscher, do sincerely promise and swear that I will be faithful and bear true Allegiance to His Grace the Rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms, Valdoroth, First of His Name, and to his Designated Small Council. I swear upon Honour and Faith that I shall, to the utmost of my ability, defend His Grace and the Small Council against all Treasons and Traitorous Conspiracies which may be formed against Him or Them: And I do faithfully promise to maintain, support and defend to the utmost of my Power, the Succession of the Crown and the Alliance. I swear to bear faith and true allegiance to the Rightful Governance of the Seven Kingdoms, through adversity and in peace, in the knowledge and expectation that they shall bear faith and trust in me. I do solemnly, with Honour and Virtue forthright in my heart, profess, testify and declare that I do make this Declaration, and every Part thereof, in the plain and ordinary sense of the words of this Oath, without any Evasion, Equivocation or Reservation whatsoever. Signed: AIDAN VAZSCHER And now the shame bell begins....
  12. 4 points
    Gandalf

    Important Public Service Announcement

    I see you've found Tenages' Youtube channel.
  13. 4 points
    I want to be her best friend so bad. But in Westeros not here because here it's frowned upon for male adults to hang out with 10 year old children.
  14. 4 points
    Ugh such a great episode. I can't even type all the awesome shit. Cercei is a fucking cold hearted legend. Went full ISIS on King's Landing.
  15. 4 points
    Bilal the Great

    Britain leaves the EU!

    "Western Politics" is the best tv show ever.
  16. 4 points
    Gandalf

    The world as we know it

  17. 4 points
    Brooklyn666

    Monopoly

    But yea, I'm down.
  18. 4 points
    Gandalf

    Mafia Game #4

    Areton was just a wee little lad when he left Ireland to move to America. His thick, and oftentimes unintelligible, accent led him to be bullied by all of the schoolchildren. Areton's mother absolutely hated that her child was relentlessly bullied over something that he couldn't help, so she pulled him from school to home school him. This stunted poor Areton's social skills even more, and lead him to become a hermit in his adult life. Very few people in the town had ever talked to Areton, and those who did didn't have any idea what he was rambling on about. After the deaths of so many Americans, people started getting awfully suspicious about Areton. Rumors start to spread that Areton may be a sleeper agent for the Soviet Union, and the town decides to take him out before he kills innocents. Early one morning, two members of the town break into Areton's home to take him out. They hear Areton wake up, and while he's showering they hammer out a plan. After showering, Areton meanders into the kitchen, pours himself a bowl of Lucky Charms, and begins watching the news. The two town members rush over to Areton and push his face deep into his bowl of cereal. At first he struggles, but then his body goes limp as he loses consciousness. Minutes later he drowns in his bowl of milk. Little did the town know that Areton had dedicated his life to law enforcement. He didn't want anyone to be bullied like he was bullied as a child. The Luck of the Irish. Areton was a Cop. 3 Mafia remain.
  19. 4 points
    itztaytay

    Mafia Game #3

    Congrats mafia, was quite fun trying to get Callum hung . Thank you very much Areton for trying to group with us, glad a bit of teamwork among enemies was possible. And finally, thank you Jean for the original suspicion on Callum that let me get his info in the first place Great deaths clover, had quite a few good laughs, making and keeping to backstories was a blast!
  20. 4 points
    Ren

    So I did a thing...

    I'll see you you bitches in space.
  21. 3 points
    Clover

    New, ground breaking game!

    cowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowcowCOWCOWCOWCOWCOW
  22. 3 points
    DeShawn

    Brooklyn made me do this.

    I never got the chance to get to know Cody. Do I count that as a blessing?
  23. 3 points
    Valdoroth

    Objective Games

  24. 3 points
    Daniel Garcia

    Happy birthday SK!

    may you all last longer than iggy azaleas rap career
  25. 3 points


×